Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
two words: eviction party
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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