Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
