Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I want to be your penis for a week.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
