It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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