i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize