today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
