Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
