I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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