if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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