i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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