Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
