Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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