well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
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Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
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Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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