Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
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I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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