Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
barbara walters just said penis...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
