so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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