just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize