Cold hands, warm shart.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
