is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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