physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
