So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
