he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
