i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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