it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
