great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize