So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
