All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
