Kiss
Puke
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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