Your face is a jimmy john
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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