Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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