sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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