the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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