U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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