mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
