I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
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I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
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