I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
