idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
