All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
