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• (760): View more from California

  I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.

  (818): View more from California

  haha i love mojitos

  (760): View more from California

  ya and i hate cabbage

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.

  Fav 19 1698 3971

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.

  Fav 8 2718 1046

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?

  Fav 3 1396 966

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up 

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.

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• (760): View more from California

  MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...

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• (61): View more from Australia

  he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.

  Fav 0 41 14

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