The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
