a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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