The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
