im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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