I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
