My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
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It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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