Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
they need to just BURY HIM!
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
