I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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