We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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