so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
