Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
