You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
