ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
