ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
