All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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