Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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