I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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