Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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