whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
